Hope, finding the benefit of hope.

The one who never complained, always smiled and amidst all the pain stayed calm. People say be like lotus and bloom in a pool of ditch… but my goal is to be like You, my dearest Maama…  it’s been three full years without you!! Yet I still cannot accept that you are not here.  To me you are still there at your store, staying super busy minding your own business… One of my fondest memories of my childhood would definitely be seeing you work endless hours and still be very warm and fatherly… Your way of treating everyone felt so godly that no one could take your place. That heart of yours was so pure… always...  It hurts so much to know that you are not here with us… and that everything broke apart… Not talking to you while you were here, considering that I still have time will always be my biggest regret of this life…I miss you so dearly… those people around you didn’t deserve your love and kindness… they didn’t recognize your worth while you were here…...

Maama, It's me!!  It's been two years without you!! I still cannot believe and agree with the fact that you left us 2 years ago!! Damn you Covid!! You took my fondest maama, the father everyone prayed to have!!  I'm scared that I have sometimes forgotten that you're not with us, I still picture you working hard in your own world and welcoming me wholeheartedly with your motherly smile. That is the image I have of you. forgive me I still can't look at your pictures, my heart explodes with grief whenever photos shows a glimpse of you as a "memory for you"  Maybe I'll never be okay with your loss.  Maama, the world is cruel, God is and was unfair, you left and I thought it must be for some reason, the only reason I find is that you were exhausted, which is untrue, you loved life and you worked your whole life towards it. You can never be tired and I'm sure you would never be okay and have accepted the fact that you need to leave this world...

Hello Maama, How are you? It's me again.. can you believe it's already a year.? One whole year has passed yet I still can't process that you're not there with us. I still don't have the strength to look at your photo and imagine visiting the place you are resting. Why?? Why did you leave so early . i still had a lot to say, to share, to make you proud. I miss you so much. Are you in a better place, aren't you missing the family, kids ?? Of course, you're missing them .. the man I know never rested a minute..never thought about his wellbeing..look how things have become now..   were you so tired no na you still had so many things to do...god is surely cruel. I don't or can't find any other way of processing..I will try to live my life to the fullest and make you proud. I don't know where you are resting but your thoughts and life lessons are and will remain with me forever.  Why didn't I reach out to you in the past years is not the only regre...

To my most beloved, respected maava. When I first heard the news of you infected with the most on talk CORONA VIRUS, I was not worried. I just thought you will be down with fever and all symptoms and will fight it. Day by day silence increased at home, anxiousness and a weird yet most occurring kind of fear inside me. I could hardly think about you in the morning but when there was nothing in my hand to work, you were there, scaring the most of me. All this happened within a week, there is no one to communicate about you because you know about the drama. On 27 th with utmost courage, my family contacted your relative who's also a doctor to know about his uncle condition, but he was busy or something no response received. That whole night I could not think I went blank, the same scary monster thoughts again. The next morning he had replied saying there is very slight chance. I prayed, really harder than ever the whole night just for your recovery do not know when I fell asleep....