Hope, finding the benefit of hope.

June 14, 2022. If this didn't happen 2 years ago today...  would I have loved you this much? Would I ever have said out loud I'm your fan or realized myself? Would your story ever have felt like my story? When you cried in your last movie would I have cried that harder, would I have missed you every day, would I ever wished to meet you at least once, would people still deny your absence, or would you have known the 'charming one', or 'passionate or the hard worker? Would I have so many questions? Would I have argued with everyone saying you fought your best? And, did you? I've been known as the 'emotional', or 'too impulsive' or 'the one who just talks talks talks...' women, and many more... Yet when I look at you which is almost always I want to ignore all the questions and just be still,  I'm still trying my best to be kind and patient, you're one of the main reasons. I owe you a big one  This day always reminds me 2...

This is probably the obvious writing, what does music mean to me? Does music creates memories or do memories create music? The one thing I've always questioned myself about,  Is it just me that I have always associated people with songs, mode, and music, and when the person is no longer in life the songs sound different!! Is this why as we grow older we kinda shut ourselves from the world and open up to the music world alone,? Is this why these candid artists are more loved and adored? I have heard so many saying music is constant, and I have seen many doing very well with music as their best companion. Studies say people have different personalities and the music they associate with says a lot about them. But how can this be true? For example, when we are happy we always listen to happy music, when we are alone I'm sure we all have different music that we prefer, and the list goes on... Well, who's questioning? This is no sad talk, apologies if it gave the vibe...

Hello Maama, How are you? It's me again.. can you believe it's already a year.? One whole year has passed yet I still can't process that you're not there with us. I still don't have the strength to look at your photo and imagine visiting the place you are resting. Why?? Why did you leave so early . i still had a lot to say, to share, to make you proud. I miss you so much. Are you in a better place, aren't you missing the family, kids ?? Of course, you're missing them .. the man I know never rested a minute..never thought about his wellbeing..look how things have become now..   were you so tired no na you still had so many things to do...god is surely cruel. I don't or can't find any other way of processing..I will try to live my life to the fullest and make you proud. I don't know where you are resting but your thoughts and life lessons are and will remain with me forever.  Why didn't I reach out to you in the past years is not the only regre...

A wise one once told me., you'll meet so many people in life...one, known to you (friends, best friends, colleagues ., and the list goes on) and the other one, strangers. you must be ...aah I know how to converse with known people...cool, now I should learn how to handle unknown things.EASY..!! But, let me tell you, dear  It's always easy to converse with strangers. you expect nothing from them! neither you want to impress, befriend nor they. It's a completely need basis  It's a piece of cake to interact with "not-so-good "relations You are always on guard, your mind never takes anything they say seriously, even if you're wrong there'll always be some "reason" and you mostly follow what you think and believe to be correct when you interact with your bitter relations. Now the pickle is, It seems easy to interact with "best people" because you nod along with everything happening around you and reason all the facts to unintentional inc...

To my most beloved, respected maava. When I first heard the news of you infected with the most on talk CORONA VIRUS, I was not worried. I just thought you will be down with fever and all symptoms and will fight it. Day by day silence increased at home, anxiousness and a weird yet most occurring kind of fear inside me. I could hardly think about you in the morning but when there was nothing in my hand to work, you were there, scaring the most of me. All this happened within a week, there is no one to communicate about you because you know about the drama. On 27 th with utmost courage, my family contacted your relative who's also a doctor to know about his uncle condition, but he was busy or something no response received. That whole night I could not think I went blank, the same scary monster thoughts again. The next morning he had replied saying there is very slight chance. I prayed, really harder than ever the whole night just for your recovery do not know when I fell asleep....